Social skills play a very important role in our life. Our social life can really speed up or speed down our journey. It influences our living and plans a lot. In fact, in our journey from race model, we have kept social life under relationships which comes under fuelling up your journey– the quality of fuel determines the quality of your ride on this journey !!!
Before we go further on social skills, let me clarify, with social skills, I am not referring to late night parties, the way you dance or the way you make cocktails or anything like that. We sometimes refer only these as social life. But, social life is the way your society, your neighbors, your network knows you. And with this high technological advancements, the social has become global. In fact, there are few people with whom I am interacting more than I interact with my neighbors. So, now social life is really a global one. And, it’s giving us a huge opportunity to experience the world with more ease and confidence.
There are several courses which focus on developing social skills and I feel it’s worth learning those – any learning opportunity is worth which can help you in your journey– whatever small the learning might be. Below, I am listing three social skills you should practice to overcome any social shyness and create a good social relationship. It’s time to enjoy boundless relationships!!!
1. Introducing Yourself –We come across many people, whom we meet on some occasions or forums or some seminars or workshops – both online and offline. Out of those many, there are few, with whom our subconscious mind gives us a signal to speak with. But, we don’t do it out of social shyness. Also, there are several occasions, where you get a chance to introduce yourself and some of us try to avoid that opportunity out of shyness or nervousness. We experience these because of a mental picture of ours which tells us you might not speak well while introducing, people may make fun of you and so on. These are some negative pictures which generate a fear or a negative vibration and stop us from going ahead.
How to improve this: The only way to remove fear is to experience it. And you can master something by practicing it. So, to improve this one, you must practice introducing yourself. Follow these step to improve the way you introduce yourself :
- Jot down your best things that you want people to know: You must be having some things which you don’t like about yourself and some points which you like about yourself. Make a list of all the points which you like about yourself. Depending on the forum where you are, you might know which things to share with people.
- Write a short introduction: This is not a speech. And, people will never like an introductory speech about you. So, your introduction time should not be more than 45 seconds. That means approximately 100 words – That’s all. So, now you need to write the introduction within that frame mentioning the points you wrote above. There might be 4-5 rounds of reframing and rewriting before you freeze the final one.
- Practice: Once the writing part is done, its time to practice. Read it 4-5 times and then practice delivering the short introduction. There is an old technique which is still the most effective way to practice this. Speak the same in front of the mirror and just introduce yourself to yourself !!! Do this at least 10-15 times in a day for next 5-6 days and you will be able to see the change.
- Implement immediately –Once you have practiced this for 5-6 days, the next step will be to deliver it to anyone unknown. Believe me, if you re aware, you will be able to introduce yourself to at least one person daily. Hence, the next step will be to deliver this to one person immediately and see the areas of improvement and keep on practicing the above steps if required.
Never there was, neither there will be any alternative to practice.
So, keep practicing till you don’t feel you have mastered.
2. Compliment Others-What happens when you compliment someone and the person loves it? You feel good about it and also the other person as well. But, more than the other person, you will feel good if you compliment others. Compliment means, you are appreciating something about someone that you liked about that person. By the law of nature, what you give is bound to come back. So, you will also receive compliments – if not from the same person but from other places for sure. Complimenting each other can really strengthen any kind of relationship. We sometimes don’t compliment others by thinking about what the other person will think of that. He or she might not be comfortable accepting the compliment. But, rather than thinking about what the other person might feel, you simply start appreciating one thing about any person you speak. Believe me, the person might not be comfortable in front of you but will surely like if the compliment is genuine. You will never come across any person who doesn’t have a good point to be appreciated – it might be the way we see the person. Once, you start giving a compliment to others, you will be more comfortable socially and you will slowly practice the law of giving which we cover on the journey from race. If you practice this daily for 30 days also, you will find a drastic change in the way you see the world.
How to improve this: It’s very easy. Whenever you speak to any person, try to find out one good thing about the person. It can be any small thing like the way of speaking, the voice, the dress, the smile – anything. Just pick up whatever you find and simply appreciate the other person for that reason. And while appreciating, make sure to do that with a smile – even if you are on telecall, smiling and speaking changes the voice also. Start doing this with everyone you meet. This is one of the best things you can give to anyone you meet. Don’t focus on what the other person might think. Focus on what you are giving the other person as a compliment.
3. Fake A Smile: Every journey is different and so it’s obvious there are some instances where you need to be in a gathering, occasion, meeting, event, workshop, seminar or something like that but you are feeling down or you simply don’t want to be there but you need to. In such case, if you carry on the mood on the floor, it will surely affect the forum where you are as well. Also, people might feel down speaking to you or might avoid you. In relationships, we reciprocate energy. So, It’s important to keep your energy and mood proper in those places.
How to improve this: The best way to change your mood or emotions or energy is to change your physiology. And the best way to get it fixed is to start with a smile. The moment you start smiling, to whatever extent you fake that smile, within 30 seconds, your brain attracts happiness and you start becoming happy and start flowing positive energy naturally. It might sound weird but that’s the way it is.
So, if you practice these three social skills, you will make a drastic change in your social life and in the quality of your social relationships as well.