Three common communication blunders and their fixes which might ruin a relationship
When you are reading the word relationship, you might be having a picture of one specific relationship. But believe me, I am not speaking about any particular name for a relationship. I am talking about the relationship as a whole. It includes all the names that we give to our relationships and also those where we can hardly name anything specific but we have an immense feeling. I am simply referring to the relationship as a whole.
In earlier blogs on relationships, we have covered some great quotes on the relationship, Expectation in a relationship, 5 ways to have a better relationship and harsh truth about relationships. Today we will be checking if we are applying any of these three blunders in any kind of relationship that we have. Believe me, if you avoid these three blunders in a relationship, you will not only have the relationship – Rather you will enjoy being n the relationship.
1. Expecting the other person to Read your mind –One of the biggest blunders that we do that we expect people to understand what’s in our mind without expressing them. It’s really such an expectation where a professional psychologist and hypnotherapists also fail several times. We might do this for several reasons. Some of the very common reasons which I came across during my sessions are: –
- You feel proud that the other person understands you from the core of his or her heart.
- You want to know how much you are connected with the other person and this becomes your mental test to understand that.
- You create this expectation as a benchmark of being understanding.
Believe me, whatever reason it is, you are simply wrong. A relationship is meant to enjoy. Relationships are not exams, or tests or a place to show mind readings. Expecting the other person to read your mind without being expressive is a blunder you do which can ruin any relationship.
How to Fix This –Rather than waiting for the other person to come up and express what is there in your mind, you should clearly express what you want or your desire and also, encourage the other person as well to bring out everything clearly. This might create a difference of opinion sometimes but believe me, this practice will make the relationship crystal clear, enjoyable and healthy. Remember the two harsh truth about the relationship.
2. Reading the mind of the Other Person –Another blunder is simply the vice versa of the above !!! There are lots of instances, you try to judge the other person. Rather than concentrating on what the other person is explaining, you start assuming the intent to reason behind what he or she is saying. This is sometimes needed in the process of interrogating – but in most of the cases, when we are communicating with someone in a relationship – this is not required. You are not in a relationship to assume. You are in the relationship to enjoy the value the relationship brings.
How to Fix This – There are possibilities, you might be getting a feeler from a relationship that is not clear to you. In these situations, asking direct questions always help. Rather than refraining yourself from asking a direct question by thinking about what the other person might think if you ask a direct question, it’s always better to get a clarity. It will help your relationship stay clean and clear. You will be able to enjoy the relationship without any kind of mental declutter.
3. Not understanding Other’s Point of view – This is one of the very common mistakes that we do in a relationship. We might fail to understand others point of view about a communication for several reasons. Some of the most common reasons might be:
- Rather than understanding and mindful listening to what the other person is saying, you prepare to draft your reply mentally
- You might feel bad about what the other person is saying and so the chances of understanding the point of view of the other person are shuttered.
- You have a mental picture of the other person or a pre-notion that is stopping you to understand the person properly.
How to fix this –Firstly, you need to accept people the way they are. Every person is on their own journey and hence the point of views of different people will be different. Accepting this every time you communicate will open you to understand the other persons Point of view. Moreover, when you express clearly and let the other person express clearly as well and don’t try to read mind and don’t expect the other person to read your mind as well – as mentioned in the first two points, you automatically open the door towards a clear flow of communication and in most of the cases, you understand the other person’s point of view. Also, you must practice active listening.
Communication is the key to any relationship and in fact, you cannot communicate. If you wish to improve your communication, you can join our waitlist for a course on communication and you will get the same absolutely Free of Cost when its launched.