We all want to be happy and each and everyone – be it the human being or be it animals – all want to be happy. Probably happiness is one of the most sought after feeling. Being happy looks very simple yet we make it more and more complex. And the more our lifestyle is developing, tougher it is becoming. From some of the sessions I have taken, I will share 2 stories to make it more clear.
I met one of the top executives who was very frustrated as he missed his promotion twice. While discussing I came to know he has struggled a lot in his career. Proudly, he was narrating the hardships he faced and how he used to struggle for his living. He bought on house, having own car but he is not happy because he missed a promotion twice. And he was so frustrated that he was unable to understand what he can do to live further. I asked him ” If you enter into the picture of your struggling days, have you ever thought you will reach this position and achieve what you have done?” He humbly replied ” Well. not this much. I expected a bit lower than what I have now” So, my next question was ” Why you are not happy for this overachievement and why you are unhappy with this one incident? Is this one incident is more powerful than the journey you did which you were proudly narrating?” And I got the best answer from him “Silence”
Next story, a young couple who were dissatisfied with each other. They met first time at a friends house. Both liked each other but the girl was engaged. After few frequent meetings, they became good friends. They started liking each other and soon the girl realized that this boy is the actual right person she was looking for. The boy was having the same feeling as well. But still being together in a “relationship beyond friendship” was a dream for them. Both had the same dream but couldn’t express the same to each other. But, this true intent of being in a true relationship was ultimately gifted by the universe and they felt the Happiest moment in their life. It’s hardly going to be 5 years and the harmony is somewhere beyond achievement. They keep on complaining that they are in search of happiness from each other which they are not getting. The girl wanted the boy to behave the way she wants and the boy wanted just the opposite. It became so frustrating that they cannot see future together and both of them think earlier they were happier.
You pick up any of the unhappy moment in your life and if you dig into the reason for the same, you will find that main reason for the unhappy moment is your wish and your desires. And If you dig into those wishes and desires, you will find that the reasons for those wishes and desires were Happiness only.
This is a vicious cycle of happiness where you want something for happiness and then become unhappy because you wanted.
Does that mean you should not have any wishes and desires? Absolutely not. Wishes and Desires help you drive your life in a direction and speed up the journey. But you should always have a break. You should have the power to let go to become powerful. Even if you want to, you cannot hold anything. You cannot hold your life, your relationships, your age, your body, your money, your assets or anything. You simply can’t hold it. Hence whenever your wishes and desires are not solving the ultimate purpose of your life, you should simply let go it and start another desire. The more you hold on it, more you will be unhappy. Hence, it’s important to be aware of your wishes and desires and remember the ultimate purpose of it.
It’s just like driving a car where you are free to press the accelerator and increase the speed. But you need to be aware of the speed and wherever required, you should put your feet oﬀ the accelerator and apply a brake. The ultimate purpose of the car is to travel from one destination to another. And if we forget that ultimate purpose, the car is of no use anymore.
In this journey of life, the desires and wishes are to drive you to a direction or to increase your speed but if you really want to live a fulfilled life, the brake and steering control i.e. the control on where to go and when to stop – these should be with you.