“Expectation” – might be a word which we all use in different ways but we do have it in daily life. Sometimes you expect the day to be good or bad, sometimes you get something expected, sometimes you experience something unexpected and so on. But the truth is you do have an expectation. In fact, I feel those who say “I don’t have an expectation” – say so out of expectation. Maybe what they expect can be different. We all expect and probably that’s the driving force in life. Expectation may drive us to do what we do every day. The expectation might be a motivating factor or a performing factor of ours. So, not having expectation will probably take you nowhere and it will be a crime you will do with yourself. But sometimes not achieving what expected the lead to frustrations and you may feel there’s nothing beyond.
From the very beginning, I came across some lines which make the same meaning – “Not expecting anything will keep you happy. It’s the key to happiness.” But, I somehow, was unable to connect with those lines. I always believed that expectation is a must for going forward. Say, I am driving for a holiday and don’t expect to reach on time. Rather I don’t expect to reach any particular place. I just kept on driving. Probably that’s insane. Expectation gives birth to what we call Goals and that’s one of the major driving forces in life.
Some people say “Key to the healthy relationship is not expecting anything from that relationship” – I am not in sync with that idea. If I don’t expect anything from the relation, why should I have that relation? I may sound awkward but come on!!! Let’s face the truth. Not expecting something is to devaluate that thing.
In fact, when I was reading a book teaching “not to expect anything in life” – but I felt the book was also written with some expectations. Might be to earn popularity, earn money or anything like that. Actually, Expectation gives purpose to life. It really helps you to live with a purpose. Hope by this time, you might think, if it’s so simple, then why some schools of thoughts say “Don’t expect anything” and make it complex. The answer to this complex thing is simple. Below some laws of expectation which might create and make your expectations a healthy and driving force of your life.
1) An expectation is continuous and dynamic. An expectation is always continuous and it keeps on moving. After one expectation is fulfilled, another one starts. Even if one expectation is not fulfilled, another expectation starts. So, expectations change with time and situations and it’s ever moving and dynamic. Hence, if you have no other option but to live with expectation, it’s better to live with great expectations and change to another great one. Hope that makes sense.
2) Failure is just an incident which you have not expected. Failure is just an incident and nothing else. It’s an incident which was not expected by you. That’s all. Though we measure some things like pass or fail, success, and failure but that’s just our measurement tool and our habit of giving a meaning to every incident. If scoring poor marks or marked as “failed” is a failure, every school dropout would have failed everywhere and I hope you know there were few people, dropped from schools and later, they hired best B-school graduates in their companies. Is this a failure? If it’s no, then failing in school was just an incident.
3) Expect everything from yourself but don’t expect anything from others. Sometimes we start expecting so much from others that we almost forget to expect from ourselves. Why the hell we need to expect others to fulfill our wishes or what we feel? It happens only when you subconsciously lose confidence on yourself. Never expect from a particular person a particular thing. And if you expect, never blame them if you don’t fulfill that as it was your expectation.
4) Expect what you want not from whom you want. This is one of the prime reasons why people tend to get frustrated. Expect what you want rather than creating a person and expecting what you want from that person. The same way you are responsible for your expectation, the others have the right too. Everyone likes to have Love, Respect, and Care etc in life. But the challenge takes place when we start expecting that from a particular person. Always remember, expecting that is just a thought you have and life never ends or the person never becomes bad if he or she is unable to fulfill your expectation as it was just your thought. That’s all.
5) Try not to time your expectation. Another way to invite frustrations in a grand way is to time your expectations. It’s better to know what you expect and put that under a time frame when you have a daily roadmap and daily actions to fulfill the same. People may tend to expect to achieve what they expected in a time frame much faster than actually expected and land up to frustrations soon.
6) You are responsible for your expectations. Whether your expectations are “Great” or “Good” or “HMMM” – all are your expectations and you are responsible for that. If you achieve those or don’t achieve those, it’s only you who will be responsible and no one else.
7) Expect from where you are today. A realistic expectation is always a great deal. For example, if I have 300 bucks in my account and tomorrow morning I expect it to be 30000 bucks; probably it is not the right expectation. But, if I expect to have 300,000 bucks in my account in next 3 years by working hard, it might happen.
8) The Quality of your Expectation from yourself is actually your standard in your eyes. When you expect something from yourself, you will see you start picturing yourself in that way. That’s what our mind does. It understands with pictures and hence it creates a picture as per your expectation. And vice versa, you start expecting something with pictures because expectations also come from the mind. Hence, the quality of your expectation is your standard in your eyes. And this can be easily transformed and created with mind control and regular visualization.
9) The expectation is always backed by action. As in the earlier example, if I expect 300,000 bucks in my account in next 3 years, I need to work on it. If I expect something which is out of my current trend, something needs to change. If I expect something massive, a massive action needs to come from me. And it always starts with small but disciplined actions. Hence expectations must be backed by actions to achieve it and believe in it more.
You can always and any day set up Great Expectation and raises your standards backed by the strategy to achieve that with step by step action plans and Lead Your Life the way you want. Create this life your masterpiece. Make it “For yourself” – not for others. Raise your standards in your eyes.