We all want Better Relationships – but the main challenge lies in having relationship with yourself
The Extent Of Your Self Connectivity – Key to Better Relationships:
You can only achieve spirituality by connecting yourself. Most of the times, we become so connected with each other, that we tend to lose our self-connect. We do have relationships and everyone wants better relationships. We play a different kind of roles in life. The role of a partner, Role of a Son or Daughter, Role of Father or Mother, Role of a Friend, Role of Immediate or Distant Relative and so on. We name some of our works as responsibility, some relations as core relations but believe me, there are two harsh truths of life:
Every Relationship has got an Expiry Date. Either by Death or by Choice: It’s law of nature that everything has an end. We are born with a confirmation of death. Similarly, a tree, a flower, a bird, whatever it be, has an end. The same way, any relationship you start, has an end to it. This is a reality which we tend to overlook. I am referring to a relationship, not the feeling of that relationship. All the types of feelings stay with us for long – pre-relationship, on relationship and post relationship. But, what I am talking about is only about the relationship. Be it any relationship, it’s bound to end – either by death or by choice. While the end of a relationship by death is very common. But, end of the relationship by choice is also another option we all have and some of us do whether consciously or unconsciously. End of relationship by choice takes place when someone gives up on a relationship and wants to end up the relationship by choice. It’s not necessary that the person will express or announce the choice. It may take place internally as well. Because whatever the outer relationship seems to be but what matters in a relationship is what you feel deep inside. There might be instances of Father – Son, Husband – Wife, Boyfriend- Girlfriend or between 2 brothers where one of the people ended the relationship by choice but the other one has not understood the same and they stay together. Though it’s always suggested to express your feelings as it will give clarity to everyone in a relationship but sometimes due to the pressure of external world or reactions from other side, people don’t express which is absolutely ok. The relationship is not what you show. It’s what you feel inside. And if your inner voice says that it’s end of a relationship, no one can stop you from doing so at the moment the feeling is generated the relationship has ended for you. You may change the feeling anytime. But, the fact is this can be changed only by you. No one understands ‘you’ more than you. Be it whoever!!! Understanding this truth makes you feel good in two ways: – 1) Since every relationship has an end, it’s better to enjoy every moment every relationship you love to be in. and 2) Since every relationship has an end, you can give up any relationship which you don’t want. You may drag the relationship because of external factors but the more you can express yourself clearly, more you will be free and have clarity and satisfaction. You can only control your feeling for a relationship and cannot control others.
It may seem you are responsible but responsibility is still just helping others in their journey: While explaining about health and fitness, I have already explained you don’t have control on anything about your formation and how you come to this world. Nature took care of it. The same way it takes care of other animals. Your hair, your teeth, your legs, the creation of each of your organs – all came to you naturally and you had no control in that. In spite of this fact, we still try to control everything and feel as if we have control over everything. And we carry this illusion beyond ourselves and try to control others as well. It’s quite obvious, we should help each other but we name the help that we do as responsibility and pretend as if without you, people for whom you are responsible will not survive. But, the fact remains same. Even after you die, the people you felt will not survive, will survive. It’s just a thought. It’s not about only helping your near and dear ones, it’s about helping everyone in need. It’s quite obvious that your extent of help in case of your near and dear ones will be much more than that of others but others should not be deprived of your help. In fact, those who take care a lot of his near or dear ones and help them selflessly but don’t help others are the most selfish people. Because those people help our near and dear ones to get something in return for sure. The return may be attention, love respect to whatever it be, there is a return. But when you start helping everyone, you actually start your journey towards boundless achievements.
If you understand these two truths of relationships, you will surely give more time to yourself and start developing stronger self-connectivity with yourself and believe me, the strong your self-connectivity is, the stronger will be your relationship with others. Also, the more responsible you are about yourself, the more responsible you will be about others. So, before your garner, grow, develop or do anything for better relationships, you should improve your self-connectivity first.